Sometimes, I simply don't have it all together (most of the time). What if the other moms out there do a much better job than I can ever dream of, and they somehow have the extra mom gene that allows them the picture-perfect mom skills, which I don't seem to possess?
Sounds familiar? These feelings have become even more prominent for me after the passing of my dear child - how did I fail the most basic duty a mom has and let her slip away from us?
My journey through healing is far from over, but there is some things i know for sure and helps me keep going:
My children have exactly the mom they need. Me, as I am, right and wrong, good or bad. We're made to help each other grow. Growth isn't a perfect linear path, it's messy, but I must honour it.
If I expect myself to be perfect at all times and can't forgive myself or love myself *because* I have flaws, what example does that give to my children? Indeed, they don't have to be "perfect" to love themselves and to be loved. I don't either.
I remind myself that I must continue to trust them, and allow them to try and fail and try again so they build confidence and resilience. And the best way to do so, is to trust myself, and when I fail, they must see me try again.
why am I writing about this for mother's day?
Because I know that you don't need to lose a child to experience these thoughts and feelings, and I can pretty much guarantee that the moms in your life of all ages and paths can benefit from a heartfelt appreciation gesture.
Write her a handwritten note. Give her a call. Go for a visit with no expectations of what's it's going to be like.
All my love to all you mama’s out there doing you’re very best. I see you.